DFK. DFC. (DON'T F***IN' KNOW. DON'T F***IN' CARE.) |
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| Just leave me alone. Stop asking me questions about useless crap that I don't give a s**t about. Seriously, even if I did know, would I waste my time on you? I've got better f**king things to do with my time. |
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DILLIGAF? (DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A F***?) |
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| Go tell someone who gives a crap, or please keep your stupid insignificant thoughts to yourself. And all these stupid bumper stickers out there are nauseating - who cares what Jesus would do, or what your favorite pet looks like, or how many honors your kid has? I really don't give a s**t, and neither does anybody else. |
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DNR. (DO NOT RESUSCITATE.) |
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Seriously, please. In the unfortunate unlikeliness that I just one day fall to the earth to face my doom, please leave me there, because, frankly, I bet I'd be better off. Hell, I wouldn't be any better off than I am now if I were to come out of it, so what's the point, really? Save the trouble, and while you're at it take this sticker and plaster it to my forehead when you get to the ER.
PLEASE NOTE: The presence of this sticker on your automobile is not a legally binding contract by which medical professionals make urgent care decisions. I mean, can you really expect a cardiac surgeon or trauma specialist to run out to your car to check what bumper stickers you might have? Plus, if you're holed-up in the ICU with a breathing bag stuffed into your throat and a half-dozen IVs coming out of your left arm, odds are you didn't drive your car there in the first place, you bonehead. C'mon people, use some common sense. I just don't get it, and I don't understand your logic sometimes, really. |
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WGAF? (WHO GIVES A F***?) |
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| I really don't give a rat's ass and I obviously feel it's something you should know about me. I bet nobody gives two s**ts about whatever it is you're all wound up about either, so clamp it. |
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WTF? (WHAT THE F***?) |
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| How come it's always a f**kin' surprise to me? Is everyone so damn stupid on this planet? Come on people - get with the f**kin' program and stop giving me coronaries every time I turn my f**kin' head or listen to your f**kin' endless dribble or get on this f**kin' highway just to see all this f**kin' bedlam around me. What the F**k?! I really do feel alone, and you're not helping. Really. |
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WYSINQWYG. (WHAT YOU SEE IS NOT QUITE WHAT YOU GET.) |
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| Stop it with all those damned cutesy acronyms generated by pansy-ass computer-geek mother f**kers. The truth is never wizzywig, otherwise I wouldn't be so damned frustrated with my markedly boneheaded life. |
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GAMBLING PAYS OFF...EVENTUALLY. |
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| Something has to pay off eventually. I mean, statistically speaking, if I keep on betting on stuff, it's gonna work out for me. Okay, I haven't picked the right lotto numbers just yet and maybe I didn't win last year's Superbowl Squares. So what? You think that means that I won't win next time? You think you're so damned smart and better than everyone else, don't you? Well, you're way off, idiot. These things take time, patience, and dedication. Since apparently you lack these qualities, you can't even begin to comprehend the mathematical certainty that I will eventually come out ahead. For example, if I decide to play Blackjack for $50 and lose, next time I'll just bet $100. If I lose the $100, then it'll be $200, and so on. Just as the sun will set tomorrow morning, I will eventually win - and how much will I have lost? Nothing. Casinos are so stupid, they actually think they have a chance. The same goes with Roulette. If I play 35 of the 36 numbers on a 38-slot wheel, I have a 35/38 chance of winning any specific spin, which is a 92% certainty of winning! Think about it. Gambling does pay off. Similarly, if a slot machine hasn't hit in a while, then it's due. Plain and simple. So I play it. Hard. And if I just buy one extra lottery ticket on the big drawing - just spend one more simple dollar - I essentially double my chances of winning! I can't understand why anyone every buys just one ticket. Fools. Amazing Einstein crap here, so I know I'm due. You just go ahead and keep clipping your coupons and comparing prices at Stop & Shop, Mr. Know-It-All. No thank you. Not for me. That's a waste of my time and it's pointless knowing one day you'll be a self-made success. Why invest your money in your kids' education when that same cash can be used at the air-conditioned casino? Dumb ass. My time and money is better used for a sure thing, like this scratch ticket in my pocket. So keep wasting your time in that rush-hour traffic to live out the repetition of your cubicle livelihood while I get rich the easy way - with a beer in my hand, a cigar in my cheek, and a beautiful blonde ripping me off (damn her). Good luck, you ignoramus. |
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I'D BE BETTER OFF IN VEGAS. |
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| Boy, is that the understatement of the decade. I mean, we fight traffic and bosses and coworkers and idiots all day long during our 40-hour (if that) week and we get the same crappy paycheck at the end of it all anyway. Whether I sit on my ass playing Minesweeper or crack the code to the Grand Unifying Theory, I'd get the same fixed function of minimum wage anyway. So what's the point of all this repetitiveness? Instead, if I hit the ATM for the equivalent of a week's salary (about $429 for those of you counting), then I can be in Vegas by tomorrow morning with about a hundred bucks left over. Here's the plan: Bet $25 on roulette (red or black). If you win, bet $50. If you win that, bet $100, and so on. Make sense? You'd cover your round-trip airfare by lunch time and your monthly income remunerated by happy hour. Seriously. You could cover your medical and dental benefits needs working at Staples and address your 401K requirement playing Keno. I really don't see why everyone hasn't jumped ship yet, because the alternative is more and more and more and more of the same crap that led you to this stupid website to begin with. |
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LUCK IS FOR LOSERS. |
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| Why the f**k is everyone always telling me "Good Luck." and "You sure got lucky there." and "Thank your lucky stars."? Am I in a Madonna song or something? People, people. Am I that much of a total loser in your eyes? I mean, I know I am one, but let me fill you in on something, a-hole - the concept of luck is a fallacy, much like your masculinity. And if you believe that your repulsive pair of "lucky" underwear you're wearing under your Bugle Boys is doing you any amount of good, then you deserve your otherwise inane fate. So, go ahead and keep knocking on wood, rubbing plastic rabbits feet, and jumping over cracks. You should be so lucky. |
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NEVER FOLD A WINNING HAND. |
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| Didn't you learn anything I've taught you? You would've pulled the nut flush on the turn, if you just had the balls to stay in. It was only 4 more chips to see the flop, dumb ass. Instead, now I have to listen to your relentless bitching and moaning about how nothing goes your way. Well, you know what? I'm tired of listening to you, so why don't you just go home and complain to your mommy. No wonder you come in last all the time. Idiot. |
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ANY TWO CARDS CAN WIN. |
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| With your luck, you're certainly not going to be dealt pocket aces, so just accept it, and play the hand you're dealt. Life is about taking risks, and it's about damned time you stopped waiting for something good to just magically drop in your lap. Who knows, maybe you'll pair up on the flop, or maybe you'll scare everyone away with your betting, or maybe I'll just laugh my ass off as I'm collecting your chips when I call your sorry attempt at a bluff. Keep playing that way, loser. I mean, seriously, who plays that s**t? |
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I LOVE DOPAMINE. |
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If you don't have a clue what I'm talking about, then go open your wiki or "google" it. By the way, when did they make google a verb? It makes me want to heave. Do you think you're some sort of cool dude or something? Hey, aren't you that same momo who was gettin' jiggy at the company party wearing all that bling? Don't make me come over there and pull your tighty whitey's up over the back of your head. Who doesn't like dopamine - isn't this a bit redundant? Hell, I like hedonism too, why isn't that on a bumper sticker? And what about Fruit Loops? Or your mom? Or sitting on the bowl after a Mexican taco feast? These are all pleasurable things. So stop bothering me about it. Word.
Note 1: Dopamine is commonly associated with the 'pleasure system' of the brain, providing feelings of enjoyment and reinforcement to motivate us to do, or continue doing, certain activities. Certainly dopamine is released (particularly in areas such as the nucleus accumbens and striatum) by naturally rewarding experiences such as food, sex, [and gambling, of course]... (see wikipedia.org for more information)
Note 2: Google™ is a trademark identifying the search technology and services of Google Technologies Inc. |
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I'M ON TILT. |
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| Since when does being on tilt have to be a bad thing? I mean, so what if I'm being irrational. Who the f**k put you in charge of my emotions, as if you're living the dream? I mean, if you have all the answers, then why are you still driving that piece of s**t, and dating that thing, and working those long hours for absolutely no reason? Nice life you got. I'll say it again - who the f**k are you to decide for me? What's that? I'm a train wreck? Excuse me? Come over here and say that, cause I swear... |
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POCKET ACES SUCK. |
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| You might know them as "pocket rockets", "bullets", "ones", "scarlet letters", "alcoholics anonymous", "coupla aces" - whatever. But listen up, cause I'm only going to tell you this once - getting dealt pocket aces is a death sentence. Do I friggin' stutter? Truth is sometimes hard to swallow, but you'd be better off listening for a change. If I had a nickel for every time I've seen this poison dealt to some over-confident WPT wanna-be, and then see him push the rest of his Burger King paycheck into the pot before the flop just because he sees "pocket rockets", I'd have a nice lunch right about now. By the way, can we stop with all the f**kin' cutesy-ass nicknames for these hands already? Any two cards can win, but not these two, you dim-wit. That's why pocket aces suck (for you, when I get them). |
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SOMEBODY'S GOTTA COME IN LAST. |
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| What fun would it be if there were no losers? S**t, this isn't kindergarten or tee ball, people. This is the real world - I don't give a crap about your self-esteem issues. How the be-jesus am I supposed to feel good about ME unless YOU lose? And, when you come in last place, people might say things like, "it's only a game" or "tomorrow is another day" or "at least we're winning the war" or "at least you've got a good job" or "my carpets sure do smell fresh"… Losing is merely a pitstop in the journey to winning (or make up some other similar bulls**t to justify your misfortune). Really, it's about damned time you grow up and accept your place (last place, that is). |
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RED STATES SUCK. |
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| It's not that the states themselves suck, it's just that the masses of brainwashed citizens in them are seriously out of touch from the effects of the dim-witted international politics we in the blue states seem to understand a bit more that you do. All that seems to matter to the red states is (a) thinking they're getting more of their income and paying less taxes (which isn't true), (b) confiding in the Lord our God, religious churches, praying, donation baskets, and blind faith, (c) carrying shotguns to the supermarket with spare ammo, and (d) trusting in blind republicanism. Get real, and open your eyes. Bush cares about you as much as he cares about ending the war in Iraq, bringing peace to the Middle East, drilling the Alaskan oil reserve, speaking in coherent sentences, or working more than 6-hour days. He's a reckless child with his finger on the nucular switch. An idiot, even if he pretends to be a humble, God-loving Catholic. Truth is he's not. He can't even spell religion, let along understand it. So stop voting Republican just because the candidate's name is easy to remember, or just because he's a Republican and your daddy told you to vote that way, or just because you're an ignorant excuse for an American. Think, people. We've had enough. Don't let us down in 2008. |
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SUPPORT OUR TROOPS, NOT THE IDIOT. |
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| For some inexplicable reason, it has become fashionable to buy those stupid magnetic ribbons saying "Support our Troops", as if that alone is the entire message a car owner cares about. The truth is that 96% of the cars that adorn these ridiculous blind attempts at patriotism are driven by people who also have the "W" sticker as well. Don't get me wrong, I support our troops just as much as the next guy – hell, the whole country supports them. But I don't support the reason I'm supporting the troops or the implication that supporting our troops automatically conveys support to the boneheaded boneheads in Washington requiring us to support our troops in the first place. Furthermore, if I don't buy that magnet, it doesn't mean that I hate America or I'm unpatriotic. It does mean that I graduated from middle school and have the cognitive ability to draw my own conclusions about whom and what I support and the manner in which I pledge that support. But if I must succumb to voicing my support, let me also express my disgust in the same sentence – because frankly, I'd rather send Bush to Baghdad . |
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TERRORISM BREEDS TERRORISM. |
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Swinging the proverbial baseball bat at a bees nest is all Bush is doing. I mean, how can he think he can beat terrorism with terrorism itself? This clown actually thinks he's going to change thousands of years of history and culture overnight with a stupid war. Democracies are peaceful countries, yes, but the premise of separating church from state will never work in Iraq or anywhere else where these freedom fighters are making a stand. Get real Bush, these wars are just your way of keeping attention away from your ineptitudiousness. And trying to contain known foreign terrorists is as impossible as winning with J-6 offsuit. The United States has about 5 million names on a terrorist watch list who are considered to pose a potential threat. This list alone creates a problem, not a solution. Al-Qaeda itself is relatively small in number (a few hundred at most), so what are we doing here? Isn't it Al-Qaeda we're trying to stop? Oh wait, they weren't even responsible for 9/11; that was the Bush Administration. That's right. If you think otherwise, you've obviously been watching too much Fox News. Check out the Loose Change video and I bet that'll open your eyes. Or if you want to deal with terrorists, it's better to do it the way that the Big Man says we should – at least we'd be done with it – and have a laugh while we're at it. The obvious bottom line is that Bush and his cronies are terrorists, and these pointless terrorist wars only generate real terrorists that will one day cause a real 9/11 long after Bush is buried in his lilac-scented coffin. We should be so lucky.
From www.antiwar.com
Dangerous World
The world today is clearly a more dangerous place than it was on September 10, 2001, or last year before the invasion of Iraq. This is true for Americans. But it is equally true for Spaniards, Indonesians, and most especially, Iraqis.
The Bush administration has yet to recognize that the outcome of the war on terrorism will depend on the quality of the peace. By ruling out the peaceful settlement of disputes in Iraq, Palestine, and elsewhere, the White House has not eliminated terrorism. It has provoked it. And it has also legitimized terrorism in many parts of the world. A cursory survey of global terrorist activity reveals an incredibly wide array of distinct and interconnected motives. With a growing number of groups declaring the U.S. their number one enemy, the war on terror could last for generations, if we don't take a different tactic. Until we do, the world in the coming weeks, months, and years will likely remain a very dangerous place. |
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THIS COUNTRY IS UPSIDE DOWN. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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I'VE HAD ENOUGH BUSH. |
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| Who hasn't? Come 2008, I bet 95% of Republicans, even the smart ones (which is about 5% of them), will vote Democrat just to stop the insanity of George Hitler Walker Bush. |
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BUSH + CHENEY = USELESS. |
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Putting Bush aside for a minute and focusing on Cheney (he's the guy that’s supposed to be our VP), you'll find a man of torture-loving, demented ideology, and a diminishing world view with each passing day. Add to his qualifications the blundering con artist driving this ship and we're left with a volatile cocktail that has proven itself only to poison world politics, spend billions on a war that was a launched to spread Republican ideals, and turn Iraq into the 52nd state. What a great use of taxpayer dollars. Have either of these dimwits done anything for this great nation aside from dividing it, running up the deficit, and driving up gas prices? These crackpots are useless, people. Seriously. Why hasn't the impeachment process yet begun?
In the conduct of the office of President of the United States, George Walker Bush, in violation of his constitutional oath faithfully to execute the office of President of the United States and, to the best of his ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, and in violation of his constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed, has violated the Equal Protection Clause of the Constitution. U.S. soldiers in the Middle East are overwhelmingly poor White, Black, and Latino and their military service is based on the coercion of a system that has denied viable economic opportunities to these classes of citizens. Under the Constitution, all classes of citizens are guaranteed equal protection of the laws, and calling on the poor and minorities to fight a war for oil to preserve the lifestyles of the wealthy power elite of this country is a denial of the rights of these soldiers. In all of this, George Walker Bush has acted in a manner contrary to his trust as President and subversive of constitutional government, to the great prejudice of the cause of law and justice and to the manifest injury of the people of the United States. Wherefore George Walker Bush, by such conduct, warrants impeachment and trial, and removal from office. |
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BUSH IS A RESOUNDING FAILURE. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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BUSH IS BAD FOR YOU. |
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| This is a good-news, bad-news kinda thing. I mean, come on. Enough is enough peeps. Is it 2008 yet? |
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BUSH IS A TRAIN WRECK. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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EITHER BUSH IS AN IDIOT, OR YOU ARE. |
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Main Entry: id·i·ot
Pronunciation: 'i-dE-&t
Function: politics, mostly
Middle English from Washington DC, ydiote, from Latin idiota ignorant person, with IQ at or near one's shoe size. Synonymous with George W. Bush. From Greek idiOtEs or layman, just plain stupid, dumb, unable to reduce a fraction or have a coherent or well-planned out thought, or even recognize one's own stupidity. From idios; akin to Latin suus meaning Bush has no more brain power than a 16-yr-old working the deep fryer at Mickey D's. Face it, putting your blind support in this idiot speaks volumes about you too being an idiot. Anyone who's bright enough to pound sand can see Bush is ignorant to six decimal places, on a good day, even after his fitful 10-hour nightly slumber. Look around you – politically, economically, socially – everything's a mess and any blind man can see the idiotic reason for it. That is, unless your narrow-minded, upper-class, bible-belted morality has you voting party lines regardless of the human excrement leading that party. So keep thinking your logic is sound, that you're smarter than everyone else just because you've been handed down everything you've ever owned in your privileged Republican existence. The truth is you're as dumb as a Pop-Tart and belong in that dim-witted, bible-totin', brain-washed and white-washed Red state, being so stupid you couldn't find even a pig in a bathtub let alone a brain in your ancestry. Obscurity is the refuge of incompetence and Dumya is ruler of that fog. Here's an idea, go back to school and finish the 8th grade, then leave the comfort of your provincial existence for a few days; get a passport, see the world, talk to smart people (they're the ones who know how to tie their shoes, and can help you do the same) – you'll see that just because Bush is a glaring idiot that you don't need to be one too. You idiot. |
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ENOUGH POLITICS ALREADY. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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BUSH CREATED THIS MESS. |
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Don't believe me? When's the last time you felt good about our economy? Your paycheck? International politics? The environment? Gas prices? The war on "terrorism"? Your quality of life? The consumer confidence index? Your waistline? It’s all Bush’s fault. Everything. Yes, even that. Think it through, and you'll be singing my praises.
Had enough? Vote Democrat in 2008. |
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SEND BUSH TO BAGHDAD. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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WHY IS GAS SO EXPENSIVE? |
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| I can't even afford to drive to the gas station anymore. This is getting to be a bit ridiculous, peeps. Come on, you expect me to be able to afford $1.69 a gallon! That's nuts! |
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THE TRUTH STINGS, SO KEEP LYING. |
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| That's the basis for our great country, isn't it? Everything since the Revolutionary War back in the late 1700s was predicated on lies. Hey, the Bush Administration pulled off the biggest Big Lie of 'em all on 9/11, so why shouldn't you keep lying in your personal life? Nobody wants the truth, it's boring, and leads to nothing. That's why we have Hollywood screenplays, fiction sections in local libraries, sitcoms, and Fox News. They're all based on lies, and we love'em. Don't believe me? Try telling the truth next time, and see where that leaves you |
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ENOUGH ALREADY. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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HALF-ASSED: THE AMERICAN WAY. |
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| Just because the US Government and PNAC are trying to take over planet Earth, don't think that we do things properly. We’re all looking for shortcuts, and so is the company you work for. Quality belongs to Japan; we just copied them. |
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HOW LONG IS THIS GONNA LAST? |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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JUST WAIT, IT GETS WORSE. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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THIS IS THE AMERICAN DREAM? |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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IS IT OVER YET? |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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WHAT THE F*** IS GOING ON? |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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HINDSIGHT IS 50/50. |
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| Ever wish you voted Democrat? Ever wished you hadn't folded that J-2 off-suit after seeing the flop? Ever wish you just played the right Lotto numbers based on seeing them the next morning? Ever wish you didn't eat that chicken salad at the food court at lunch because it undoubtedly was the cause for all your gastrointestinal ailments last night? Ever wish you took the other job and not the nightmare you live day-in and day-out? Well, welcome to the club. At least you've still got a pulse. Hindsight is great after seeing the outcomes, but odds are you'd never be happy anyway, it's all a crap-shoot my good friend. |
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I DIET BETWEEN SNACKS. |
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| I'm sorry, but there is way too much hype about this whole weight loss thing. What am I supposed to do, start smoking in order to quench my damned appetite? Aside from the miniscule 4.5% (about two standard deviations) of corpulent food mongers who are perhaps genetically obese, the rest of you need to loosen up. I mean, there's a whole industry out there trying to tell you all how fat or out-of-shape you are, and you're buying it! Keep buying that miracle juice claiming that once drunk will flush out kilos of cellulite while you sleep. Keep thinking those stupid pills or sensible shakes are anything more than just placebos. Or how about that vibrating belt to melt away unwanted pounds? How stupid can you all be? If you've got money to burn, I've got a few bumper stickers to sell to you. So, the dieting craze sure ain't for me, but if I must succumb to it I'll diet between snacks thank you very much. |
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I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I? |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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KEEP SMOKING YOUR CIGARETTES. |
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| It's bad enough we've got high-school dropouts with driver's licenses operating heavy machinery while still hung over from their 14-yr-old daughter's panty party last night. Our roads are still safe, and so are our children. But you smoke too. Still. And no matter how many times you play your scratch tickets hoping for an early retirement, you feel like you succeeded when you get the $2 win on that $5 ticket and drive 10 miles out of your way, burning through your $60 tank of gas to get one more chance at scratching your way to a better future. But it's pointless. You'd be better off in Vegas passing out pornographic literature to passersby for six bucks an hour, but at least you'd have your health, off the crazy highways, and might even be able to afford a couple rounds at the $2/$4 Hold'em table at the Bellagio. But you still suck in those 4,700 chemical compounds including 60 known carcinogens with each innocent cigarette. I mean, what if I told you that cigarette smoking is responsible for more than 85% of lung cancers and is also associated with cancers of the mouth, pharynx, larynx, esophagus, stomach, pancreas, uterine cervix, kidney, ureter, bladder and colon. And cigarette smoking has also been linked to Leukemia, you dumb ass. Apart from the carcinogenic aspects of smoking, links to increased risks of cardiovascular diseases (including stroke), sudden death (you should be so lucky), cardiac arrest, peripheral vascular disease and aortic aneurysm have also been established. Many components of cigarette smoke have also been characterized as Ciliotoxic materials that irritate the lining of the respiratory system resulting in increased bronchial mucus secretion and chronic decreases in pulmonary and mucociliary function. So keep on smoking, and maybe you'll do us all a favor by ridding us of your twisted judgment and ignorant political and socioeconomic opinions. Nice try. |
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SEX IS HABIT FORMING. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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SIT TIGHT...LIKE MY BABY SISTER. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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STICK YOUR HEAD IN GRAVY. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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GET A GRIP, PEOPLE. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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ZIP IT. |
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| Just shut it. The more you open your mouth, the more crap I have to listen to, and I have a headache as it is. It's bad enough my commute is longer than my work day, but considering my job sucks, I'm not sure what's worse. However, the carrying on that you subject me to is simply intolerable. If you keep up with that complaining and carrying on, I'll swap you for a dog, and then shoot the dog. Let's just get on with this merciless daily donkey derby
we all must endure without any added entertainment of your pointless point of view. Zip it, would you? |
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DUMB PEOPLE ARE SMART TOO. |
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| Go ahead and spin this into some deep, existential zen-based s**t. The truth is the only smart dumb people are those who brainwashed you into thinking they were smart when you and they clearly knew they were dumb. Think Washington DC… |
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I'D RATHER BE TAKING A DUMP. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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WHAT'S COMMON ABOUT COURTESY? |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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GOOD LUCK ON THE NEW SHIRT. |
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| It's the oldest thing going in the workplace. People show up on Monday morning with their nice new clean outfit...it so predictable! "John, new shirt you got there? Looking sharp big man!" or "Helen, did you just get that new blouse, I love the colors!" Oh my friggen head is all I can say. Why do people feel the need to buy new clothes? Are they starved for attention because their normal duties are sub par? I mean, if you were good at your job you wouldn't need to be dressed like Tom Cruise. Hell, you'd show up looking like some shlub and still get the praise of your boss's boss. Because it's not the clothing that gets you there, it's your abilities, your performance. Stay in school. Study hard, be good at [at least] one thing, because your clothes really don't matter. If you're a woman, either be good at your job or at least be good looking. The clothes don't matter, you'd look good in a burlap bag. I'm convinced that women dress only to impress other women – because guys could give a rat's ass what kind of shoes you have on today, or if your Anne Klein shirt goes with your Coach handbag, or if your panties match your scarf. Well, maybe the last one is interesting, but that's not the point. The point is, guys that buy new clothes just to show up their coworkers are thinking things like "look at me, look at me! I have new clothes and I look sharp today and you don't because you can't afford new clothes" or "you have no taste to be wearing that same tired old polo shirt with the margarine stain on the midsection. Enough already people. So go buy your new fancy clothes, and good luck with it. |
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WHY IS GAS SO EXPENSIVE? |
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| I can't even afford to drive to the gas station anymore. This is getting to be a bit ridiculous, peeps. Come on, you expect me to be able to afford $1.69 a gallon! That's nuts! |
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CALL YOUR MOTHER...SHE WORRIES. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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THE TRUTH STINGS, SO KEEP LYING. |
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| That's the basis for our great country, isn't it? Everything since the Revolutionary War back in the late 1700s was predicated on lies. Hey, the Bush Administration pulled off the biggest Big Lie of 'em all on 9/11, so why shouldn't you keep lying in your personal life? Nobody wants the truth, it's boring, and leads to nothing. That's why we have Hollywood screenplays, fiction sections in local libraries, sitcoms, and Fox News. They're all based on lies, and we love'em. Don't believe me? Try telling the truth next time, and see where that leaves you |
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WHY ISN'T ANYTHING FREE ANYMORE? |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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*SIGH* |
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| The problem with everything - all of the crap I put up with - is that it never relents; there's no time to rest, everything is a damned priority or just a bit too expensive. I never get enough sleep (that's a joke right there, as if any of us do anymore). I feel like crap and haven't worked out in ages. I'm depressed more than not, and my kitchen sink hasn't been empty since last Tuesday. This country is in sad shape, thanks to the wisdom of those boneheads at the helm. And there's nothing I can do, except pray for 2008. I spend way too much time in traffic and nobody recognizes the hard work I do. My happiest moment will be when I'm guest of honor at a funeral. Hell, I should be so lucky. Hmmm, maybe I should start smoking again. I mean, what's the difference? I need a vacation. *Sigh* |
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ALL THAT FOR THIS? |
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| If I had only known what a waste of time it would be, I'd reconsider every choice I've made in this stupid life of mine. We get how many years on this planet? Subtract from that my childhood, since most of that time was spent wetting myself. Then subtract out all those years of schooling, because all I got from that was a headache and some burned brain cells. Subtract from that the loans I've yet to pay back, the wasted all-nighters, the ass-kissing I'm still doing, and then tell me what's left? I'll tell you what's left: traffic, bills, hemorrhoids, record deficits, and more ass-kissing. When will it end? If I had only looked into alternatives. What a waste of time, people. We're all wasting our time. Doesn't anybody see that? WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE? |
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ANY GRASS IS GREENER... |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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THIS IS GETTING A LITTLE F***ING REPETITIVE. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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DO THAT CRAP ON COMPANY TIME. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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DOES IT REALLY MATTER? |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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DON'T HONK IF YOU HATE YOUR JOB. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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ENOUGH ALREADY. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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EVERY JOB SUCKS EVENTUALLY. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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HALF-ASSED: THE AMERICAN WAY. |
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| Just because the US Government and PNAC are trying to take over planet Earth, don't think that we do things properly. We’re all looking for shortcuts, and so is the company you work for. Quality belongs to Japan; we just copied them. |
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HOW LONG IS THIS GONNA LAST? |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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I SHOULD REALLY GO HOME. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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I CAN'T SEEM TO MAKE ANY F***ING HEADWAY. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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A PADDED CELL SOUNDS GOOD RIGHT ABOUT NOW. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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I'M DROWNING IN BOREDOM. |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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IS IT TOMORROW YET? |
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| Ain't that the truth. |
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