Why the f**k is everyone always telling me "Good Luck." and "You sure got lucky there." and "Thank your lucky stars."? Am I in a Madonna song or something? People, people. Am I that much of a total loser in your eyes? I mean, I know I am one, but let me fill you in on something, a-hole - the concept of luck is a fallacy, much like your masculinity. And if you believe that your repulsive pair of "lucky" underwear you're wearing under your Bugle Boys is doing you any amount of good, then you deserve your otherwise inane fate. So, go ahead and keep knocking on wood, rubbing plastic rabbits feet, and jumping over cracks. You should be so lucky.