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Something has to pay off eventually. I mean, statistically speaking, if I keep on betting on stuff, it's gonna work out for me. Okay, I haven't picked the right lotto numbers just yet and maybe I didn't win last year's Superbowl Squares. So what? You think that means that I won't win next time? You think you're so damned smart and better than everyone else, don't you? Well, you're way off, idiot. These things take time, patience, and dedication. Since apparently you lack these qualities, you can't even begin to comprehend the mathematical certainty that I will eventually come out ahead. For example, if I decide to play Blackjack for $50 and lose, next time I'll just bet $100. If I lose the $100, then it'll be $200, and so on. Just as the sun will set tomorrow morning, I will eventually win - and how much will I have lost? Nothing. Casinos are so stupid, they actually think they have a chance. The same goes with Roulette. If I play 35 of the 36 numbers on a 38-slot wheel, I have a 35/38 chance of winning any specific spin, which is a 92% certainty of winning! Think about it. Gambling does pay off. Similarly, if a slot machine hasn't hit in a while, then it's due. Plain and simple. So I play it. Hard. And if I just buy one extra lottery ticket on the big drawing - just spend one more simple dollar - I essentially double my chances of winning! I can't understand why anyone every buys just one ticket. Fools. Amazing Einstein crap here, so I know I'm due. You just go ahead and keep clipping your coupons and comparing prices at Stop & Shop, Mr. Know-It-All. No thank you. Not for me. That's a waste of my time and it's pointless knowing one day you'll be a self-made success. Why invest your money in your kids' education when that same cash can be used at the air-conditioned casino? Dumb ass. My time and money is better used for a sure thing, like this scratch ticket in my pocket. So keep wasting your time in that rush-hour traffic to live out the repetition of your cubicle livelihood while I get rich the easy way - with a beer in my hand, a cigar in my cheek, and a beautiful blonde ripping me off (damn her). Good luck, you ignoramus.
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